i think i have herpe
just one?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
