you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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