ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
