apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
