U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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