I faked an abortion last night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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