whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
