How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
