hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
