Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
