I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
