i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize