God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
