i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
