They should really pass out barf bags in church
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize