buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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