Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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