This is not my ceiling
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
