I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
