My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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