If you die in college, do you die in real life?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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