Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
