i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
