Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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