Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
where are you?
Hypothermia
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
