he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
