you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
