He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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