My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
