I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We left the knife in your bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
