no, he came in my armpit
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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