The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
