Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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