Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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