Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
