OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
