Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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