omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
