I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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