Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
