no, he came in my armpit
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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