I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i will never coherently bang her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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