Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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