im gay
i know
yea but for you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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