if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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