I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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