very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
