From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
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Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.