Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
