He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
