I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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