My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Welp...herpes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
