i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
