People in love make me want to vomit
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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