Just fell off a train. Bad.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
