Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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