I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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