Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
