Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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