I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
