If i come over, it means nothing
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This is my gift to your gina
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
