they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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