Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
