I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
