I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My penis needs a shock collar
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
