im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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