thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
