my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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