Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
is that a dick in a sweater?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
